Since my husband’s affair, I’m afraid he will reject me sexually

We are rebuilding our relationship, but neither of us feel free to initiate

My husband was the first man I felt I could let myself go with sexually. Yet, over the years, we grew apart, took each other for granted and he had an affair. We are rebuilding our relationship, but we show our wounds when it comes to sex. We are both often afraid to initiate, and I fear rejection.

Fearing rejection is natural, especially when one has experienced pain from a partner’s disloyal behaviour. It takes time to rebuild trust, and our sexual responses are firmly related to our sense of safety. It is never easy to be relaxed, open and connected with someone who has hurt you, and trying to overcome that reticence before healing has fully occurred is counterintuitive.

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