A recent survey of both men and women in their 70’s shows that 1/7 of them still pine after the one that got away, a lost love and a relationship that to this day, they believe had not yet run its course. Many of us will have someone likes this, someone we keep close to our heart and never far from our minds despite moving on both in our lives and our relationships.
The What Ifs
They become a secret obsession, a tantalizing taste of “what if’s”, a yardstick to measure all other relationships by and a source of sorrow that will eat away at your very being if you let it. It is a combination of a glorified, rose-tinted memory, regret at not doing things differently, and wanting what you can no longer have that drives an icy blade into our very souls and rears its head when we are feeling our most vulnerable. I will be one of those 70-somethings that are thankful for the long, loving life that I will have had, but that will still be haunted by the memory of something that was never finished.
Reasons Why We Let People Get Away
There are a million reasons why we let ‘the one’ slip away- bad timing, difficult circumstance, misunderstandings or even a cruel twist of fate, but there is little one can do to truly forget this ghost from your past. All you can try to do is bury the memory deep inside and console yourself with the thought that perhaps it wasn’t meant to be and that these interactions are sent to test you, and you should be thankful for everything else that you have.
Memories Come Rushing Back
Sometimes you can forget. You can go for days, weeks or months without so much as a fleeting thought. But all it can take is a few notes of a song, a face that looks familiar or the memory of a place and time and you are transported back there, dragged by the pit of your stomach with a heart-wrenching lurch and a mouth full of things you wish you could say.
You will never truly erase the memory of this person special person you were dating. But all you can do is remember that it was not meant to be and there is a reason why you are where you are now. The universe has a funny way of guiding you, so comfort yourself with this thought- they were not the one, they were just the one that got away.