My mum’s behaviour led to me being raped when I was a teen

Mariella Frostrup admires a reader’s attempts to come to terms with her past, but says she should be aware her mother may never take responsibilty for her actions

The dilemma I am a 39-year-old mother who is struggling with memories of my own childhood. When I was 15 my mother put me in dangerous situations with older men which led to me getting raped. When I told her I was scared, she brushed it off and when I told her I was raped she told me to not be silly. She encouraged me to date men in their 30s and once had sexual relations with a man while I was in the same room.

I struggled to have a “normal” relationship until I met an old school friend who loved me, married me and fathered our beautiful girls. I have recently realised this could be the source of the anxiety and depression I am now dealing with as a mother of two young girls.

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