My boyfriend found an explicit text message from my ex-colleague

Even though I have explained that the whole thing was perfectly innocent, he is accusing me of undermining our relationship. How can I turn things around?

Recently, I used my boyfriend’s spare phone while mine was broken. I downloaded all the essential apps, then thought I’d deleted them once I got my own phone back. But one evening, he received a message meant for me from an old work colleague. The content was sexual in nature and I ignored it. However, while absolutely nothing but a work friendship existed between the guy and myself, my boyfriend was livid and, days later, remains on edge. I’ve explained the situation, and we’ve fought, argued and cried. Finally, I told him I was finished defending myself over an affair that didn’t happen. Did my boyfriend want me to engage in conversation with this man? His argument is that by not doing so, I didn’t protect us as a couple. I’m at a loss as to what will make things “normal” again.

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