A young man is jealous his female friend of 50 has fallen in love with another man. Mariella Frostrup says it’s time he finds his own – realistic – sexual relationship
The dilemma I am 26 years old and three years ago I was going through a difficult period in my life following my parents’ divorce after a long marriage. I was befriended by a work colleague, a lovely older woman who is now 50. We have become very close, but not in a physical way. I’m a virgin and have never experienced physical intimacy. That said, I am and have always been attracted to her, but I’ve known from very near the beginning of our friendship that the feeling isn’t mutual, I think because of our respective ages.
Recently, she met a man who she has told me she is in love with. This has been painful for me. I’ve had a physiological reaction as well as an emotional one. Thinking about her with him brings tears, a pounding heart and sleepless nights. I want to remain a close friend, but I feel an overwhelming sense of a lost love. How do I combat these feelings of grief and loss, deal with my jealousy without harming her, and replace my selfish feelings with selfless ones?
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