I haven’t had sex with my partner for 24 years and I am tempted to sleep with a friend

I love my partner very much and don’t want to go behind his back but he won’t talk about our sex life

My partner and I have been together for 27 years. We are like soulmates and I love him very much, but he stopped having sex with me 24 years ago. I am now almost 50 and he is a few years older. We have had our ups and downs, but have always grown closer, regardless of the lack of sex. I have had a few affairs in the past that I am greatly ashamed of. My last affair was four years ago, but recently a friend, who I know would be discreet, has made advances. We have only kissed but if I’m honest, I do want to have sex with him. However, the thought of doing such a thing plays with my mind and my heart. I don’t want to be that terrible person. My partner won’t talk to me. He is completely closed. He says it’s him and not me. I just want us to be happy. I don’t want to leave him. I feel safe with him. I want to look after him and to know he is all right.

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