How can I get used to my partner’s low sex drive? | Mariella Frostrup

Don’t, says Mariella Frostrup. Your partner’s low libido will always make you feel unappealing. Either he must get help or you should find a better match

The dilemma I am in my early twenties and my boyfriend of two and a half years is eight years older. We have a great relationship, he makes me laugh constantly and we’re pretty much on the same page about everything in life. The only thing I’m struggling with is his lower sex drive. We’ve spoken about it loads and he’s promised it’s just how he is and it’s not me, but my self-esteem has taken a massive knock and I’m finding it hard to believe the things he says are true. I know I’m not as attractive as his last girlfriend so I can’t help feeling maybe he’s just not as attracted to me. It’s so hard when the internet is full of stories of men having higher libidos, but never women. Is there anything I can do to help myself just get used to it?

Mariella replies Put up and shut up, that’s the spirit! Why am I not surprised that this letter is from a woman? A century of crawling at snail’s pace towards true emancipation and yet we still haven’t managed to crack the hardest nut of all, our own self-esteem. Whether it’s choosing boys who don’t want us or not demanding equal pay for equal work, we’re still failing to properly value who we are. What’s worse is we’re fast getting to the point where we have no one to blame but ourselves.

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