When we met, he didn’t look after himself. Now, although I have helped him smarten up, he doesn’t take care of his nails and hands or do anything about a wart, and this is a complete turn-off for me
I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. When we met, he did not look after himself in terms of health and personal grooming, although we get on well and he is a decent and kind person with a successful career. I was tough on him and he has resolved some medical issues – including having an operation for a growth – and smartened himself up (with a lot of persuading on my part). He has erectile dysfunction, which is OK with me. However, he does not take care of his nails and hands, including a wart, and it is difficult for me to be sexually intimate as I do not want to compromise my health and I find this a turn-off. There were physical and mental-health issues in my family, and I have undergone therapy to challenge codependency and look after my own needs, and this leaves me at times unsure as to whether situations are reasonable. I wish I had split from him at the beginning; perhaps he would have taken my needs more seriously. I am tired of persuading and compromising over such a basic hygiene issue and am thinking of ending it, as he is stuck in his ways.
• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
Powered by WPeMatico