Am I stupid to continue an affair with a married man?

He says he loves me but he also loves his wife. I feel used

Last year, I was contacted by an ex-boyfriend who I knew 37 years ago. We chatted, arranged to meet and embarked on an affair. We meet up at least once a month and spend the night together having fun and sex. But I always feel used. I love him and he says he always loved me, but he also loves his wife. At the start of the affair he told me he was having problems in his marriage and that his wife had had an operation and couldn’t have sex. I do feel it is wrong to cheat on his wife and I have tried to end the relationship twice already. He has said that if things were different, and if ever circumstances changed, he would be with me. Am I stupid? I love him but feel I am being cheated out of a full commitment to a relationship.

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